Archive for Fiction


Posted in Creative Endeavors with tags , , on June 19, 2009 by Just Zach

Oh god, oh god, I’m freaking out man….   it’s all lies… All of it.  They’re here man.  They’ve been here… watching us.  Waiting.  It’s the Illuminati!  Secret government cabals!  Lizard men from space!  We’re all being controlled!  IT’S HERE!

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Fiction Post!

Posted in Creative Endeavors with tags on June 1, 2009 by Danny Methane

So, as a continuation of Fiction Post 2, I give you the next installment.

Day 2, August 25, 2024: 10:00AM

Angela woke to a rapping on the door. Wearily, she scuffled to the door. When she opened it she was startled at the sight of two soldiers.
“Ma’am we have orders to ask you to come with us. There has been a deadly outbreak and some citizens are on the lose. If you deny our proposition, it will be at your own risk. Should you choose to come with us, you will be provided with supplies for every day living, shelter, and protection from the escaped, infected, citizens. Should you choose to deny, but change your mind at a later date, we will give you a number to call. I must warn you though, if you choose the latter, we cannot promise results. If the streets become overrun with the crazed citizens, we will not be able to rescue you.”
Angela stood there, shocked. “Is this some kind of hoax?”
The soldier reported, rather monotonal, “Ma’am this is not a hoax, nor is it a drill. There has been an outbreak of a deadly disease, known as Reed Syndrome. You will know who has it, as they will most likely be vomiting blood, and trying to bite you. We need you to choose. Now.”

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The Abridged Masterworks – Lovecraft

Posted in Creative Endeavors, Geek-Out with tags , on May 26, 2009 by Just Zach

In his ongoing quest to promote literacy in third world nations and inner-city school districts, Just Zach has dedicated his life to introducing today’s youth to classic writers of yesteryear by the all-so-slight trimming of their original works for modern culture.  Today’s author: turn of the century horror writer H.P. Lovecraft.

At the Mountains of Madness- We were a bunch of scientists and grad students testing a new gas-powered drill in Antarctica.  We were digging into some mountains and found some freaky tunnels.  Some of the others went to explore, but were killed by some weirdo winged barrel-shaped aliens that were hibernating under the mountain.  The rest of the team made a search party for the others,  but found the barrel aliens killed by their own genetic experiments.  The experiments tried to kill us after that.  There were two survivors- myself, and a grad student who read weird books.  These monsters looked like some of the shit he read about in this book.  Now he’s f*cking crazy.

Nyarlathotep- So this weird Egyptian guy is going around showing off freaky scary stuff with weird science tools no one has ever seen before.  I went to go see this guy.  Some crazy shit happened with shadows and stuff.  I walked home and saw that the world was destroyed.  The Egyptian guy did it.  Now I’m f*cking crazy.

Dagon- I’m a broke morphine addict.  I was on a ship in World War I that got captured by Germans.  The weren’t being dicks yet, so I managed to escape in a lifeboat with lots of supplies.  I drifted in the ocean for a long time before I washed up on this island.  It was weird.  There were dead fish all over the place, but no seagulls eating them.  It smelled terrible.  I decided to explore this island and walked toward the big mountain in the middle.  I climbed this mountain, but there was a big canyon on the other side.  I climbed down into it and saw this enormous stone.  It had all these weird carvings on it of giant fish people killing whales.  Then there was one of those fish people bowing at the stone.  I went f*cking crazy.  I’ve been addicted to morphine ever since.  I’m going to throw myself out the window now.

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So. I forgot.

Posted in Creative Endeavors with tags on May 18, 2009 by Danny Methane


So, with working 12 hours on Saturday, sleeping all day and picking my mom up from the airport on Sunday, and sleeping all day today before work at three, I completely forgot to do my update.

Of course, it was one of those days where I was too tired to go to work, but still had to go. I get to work, and I jump straight into the “freight” we have to move. Time goes by, then it comes. Lunch time. I clock out, head over to Sam’s Club for a gourmet dinner and a nice little dessert. Then it happens. I’m on the phone with Zach, explaining everything I just explained to you and BAM! I look down and see a $20 bill. Hell yes. My day just got better 20 fold. (Heh.) Then I start trying to figure out what I’m going to write about and nothing comes to mind. So I figure I’ll just write another peice to one of my stories and post that. So, without further adieu, (or another “So,”) I give you the next peice in the Saga of Max Hoaglund, featuring Journal Entry #2 from my newest project, H.E.R.O.

::ACTUAL UPDATE! FICTION: H.E.R.O Journal Entry #2.::

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Posted in Creative Endeavors with tags , , on April 28, 2009 by Danny Methane

So, a while back I wanted to find a way to satisfy my needs to read a decent zombie novel. After futile attempts to find any after maybe an hour of searching on the net, I decided I’d write my own. I’d write about one ‘chapter’ a week and post it up on my blog. After the first two, I gained about 3 readers, and they all wanted to see what was coming next. So I kept writing. This post is re-introducing the first two chapters of this project, entitled Infection. I have redacted some of the original as it no longer fits with the plot, so this is as close to the final version of these chapters you’re going to get. Continue reading

So, I’m working on a new story.

Posted in Creative Endeavors with tags on April 15, 2009 by Danny Methane

And I think it’s best left to you guys reading it as if it were a novel. So, without further ado, I give you the opening chapter to my new novel, H.E.R.O

Journal Entry 1: October 7th, 2008: Well, it happened. For the third time in history, a nuclear weapon has fallen on civilians. This time, however, it was against the United States. North Korea decided to “test” a missile that just so happened to be equipped with a nuke. The whole nation is in a state of mourning, and aid is being rushed to Anchorage in the form of radiation suits, radiation meds, and bottled water.

The United Nations was supposed to stop this from happening! Nine out of ten. That’s all it took. Like a suspense scene out of a bad movie, China was the last to vote. Nine votes to forcibly remove Jeom Bon-hwa from power. That “no” hit the table, and the shit hit the fan. The media reported that China thought it would be bad for border relations and didn’t want to risk one of their cities being nuked.

Marc tells me that he’s shipping out next Tuesday. The flight from Travis AFB into Osan, in South Korea, is going to be one hell of a trip. I hope he remembers to charge his MP3 player this time. Hard to fight a war without a playlist.

I’m thinking about asking him if he can get me a press pass to tag along. I’d really like to see the Mechanical Marines in warfare.

Well. This sucks.

Posted in Creative Endeavors with tags , on March 18, 2009 by Danny Methane

I’m sitting here. It’s 1:58 AM CST, and I can’t think of an entry to write. Zach would jump down my throat if I didn’t post an entry today. In lieu of a somewhat infotainment entry, I think I’ll leave you with en excerpt (or whole chapter) of my novel-in-progress, Infection.

Day 2, August 25, 2024: 5:00AM

Anthony slowly pulled his elderly Japanese hatchback into the gravel parking lot of the power plant. The sun hadn’t risen yet, and the silhouettes of the dead shone black against the gloomy gray morning. Fog had settled in the Ohio valley, making entirely too eerie. Quietly, Anthony approached the door to his workplace, with a .357 Magnum special drawn. Blood seeped out from under the door. Cautiously, he turned the metallic knob and slowly opened the door. Careful not to slip, Anthony stretched his leg as far as possible to avoid getting blood on his sleek black boots. Anthony looked up after he had cleared the path of falling blood that had slipped through the grates in the second floor. A flannel clad body was resting, providing the blood, but Anthony couldn’t identify it from below.

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