Happy Birthday, You Old Coot!

62 years ago today, one of the worlds greatest champions was born.

This champion does not have a clean record, unfortuneately. Having been an accessory to the murders of over one million people, I’d say he’s pretty damn evil. But today is his birthday, and we must focus on the goods.

The champion I speak of does extremely well in a jam, and if he ever finds himself against an opponent who’s in a jam, he seizes the opportunity, and goes for the kill.

A child of World War Two, this champion grew up in a broken home. His mother was never around, and his father kept entering him into competitions to win money.

“Enough with the cherade!” you shout. “We want to know who it is!”

Today, my friends, is the birthday of the AK-47.

Arguably, the most reliable gun in the history of firearms, the AK-47 was designed to work in wet, muddy, or icy conditions. The biggest advantage it has over the US issued M16 is the fact that it rarely jams up. It’s not all that accurate, by any means (If you had a can of beans 100 meters down range, you could empty a 30 round magazine and still not have anything to eat,) but what it lacks in accuracy, it makes up for in firepower.

Firing the standard 7.62 x 39mm round, it matches the M16 perfectly. In a head to head match with the M16, the AK-47 wins in the categories of reliability, simplicity, and easiest to produce.

Remember, this weapon was made in an era where high-tech meant high rate of fire. It wasn’t meant to be a one-shot one-kill gun. It was meant for you to fire into the side of a farm house and hope any one on the inside was riddled with holes.

This old geezer is STILL in combat today, while there’s evidence that the US Army wants to replace the M16 (see H&K XM 8 and H&K HK416).

Wherever you stand on the loudest debate in history, M16 or AK47, today is a day to put your arms down, join together and sing the praises of the AK47.

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One Response to “Happy Birthday, You Old Coot!”

  1. Rutherford Tinklepants Says:

    “AK47 is the tool. Don’t make me act the muthafuckin’ fool!”

    I likes me some NWA

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